


Little White Lies

by Jewels1234



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Take Me Home Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewels1234/pseuds/Jewels1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was wrecked and exhausted but he still had to go and write songs for the new album. He really liked what had just formed in his head; it was honest, it was simple, and it was for Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little White Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic! I really hope someone reads it and likes it... Please, tell me what you think!

_Your hands touching me, they're touching me_ _. And your eyes keep saying things, they're saying what we do when it's only me and you, I can't concentrate._

_-_

The lyrics hit Louis with the force of a high-speed train. A sad smile started playing on his lips, while posing his eyes on his bandmate. He was obviously racking his brains trying to find the perfect first verse for this song they already had the chorus for.

 

Louis thought how much he was opening his own heart with this song. He couldn’t take his mind off of the first time he heard those words escaping his mouth; “you’ve been fucking up my mind with your stupid white lies.” He had to change the sentence, to fit the PG-13 audience that actually paid attention to the lyrics. But those words, filled with so much irritation and hurt pierced his memories.

 

“What do you think of this: you’ve been taking up my mind with your... Hum… Little white lies?” Louis asked, hesitantly. They already listen to the instrumental at least a dozen times, and he thought that could work; they only needed something before that, maybe a couple lines after it and they already had the chorus.

 

Julian and Liam looked at him for a few moments, scrunched up faces in thought. Then, the first spoke up. “If this room was burning, I wouldn’t even notice?”

Louis seemed pleased – every word that came out of Julian’s mouth did it for him. He was an excellent songwriter, and they wouldn’t have done shit without his help.

 

So, the clock marked 11 am and after at least 15 minutes of brain storming and dashing out some of the things that they had written on their paper pads, they already had the chorus. Before those fifteen minutes, nothing seemed to really fit, neither with the instrumental or where they wanted to head. Frustration was rising in the room, and the rhythmical foot on the floor got more and more agitated as time passed.

 

But, just like that, those words came to him. He could not tell the truth to the others, but he really couldn’t lie to himself; he couldn’t stop thinking about the night before. The bags under his eyes betrayed him as he first entered the room and said “I’m fine” to the somewhat troubled faces that looked up at him, but the guys dropped it, though Liam shot worried glances towards him now and then. After that first little line though, happened those glorious moments of really good songwriting. They where getting somewhere, and his dead-like aspect was pushed aside for a while.

 

Still, Louis couldn’t stop remembering. Harry’s bloodshot eyes, tired expression and shaking voice wouldn’t leave his mind. The memory of that image was a bit distorted by his own tears in the moment, but he could still hear what his own lips formed clearly: “will you ever stop telling me how little it bothers you to see me with her?”

 

He started to reminisce the scene, and he still couldn’t put his finger on what started the fight. He just knew that suddenly they were almost screaming at each other. Harry kept saying how fine it was, that he didn’t (couldn’t) mind, that it was for the sake of all of them. Louis blurted out that he, out of all people, was the one to talk about those things. His relationship with Eleanor and the tabloids was… Delicate, and Harry couldn’t hide his sick expression when Louis walked through the door of whatever room of whatever hotel they were staying in, coming back from a day out with her. He wouldn’t say a thing, just nestle the younger boy in his arms and murmur soothing things into his ear, while both of them fought the urge to not appear as the strongest people in the world.

The thing was, their shared disconsolation wasn’t just about her. It was mostly about the fact that they still weren’t able to be together before the public eye, and Louis having to go out with Eleanor just worsened the situation.

So, the night before Louis just exploded. He couldn’t believe Harry didn’t want to tell him “yes, it drives me fucking crazy to think you’re out there holding her hand, kissing her, and making everyone believe you’re in love with her, when you actually love me. You belong with me and only me because I belong with you and there’s no other way for us to be happy”. Harry just looked at him blankly, saying that he couldn’t be jealous if the relationship wasn’t even real. Then it all went downhill; Harry kept denying his sorrow, Louis kept pushing him, Harry kept looking down, Louis kept looking up at him, and they both kept bleeding from the wounds words and silences made on one another.

 

 So yeah, Louis was wrecked and exhausted but he still had to go and write songs for the new album. He really liked what had just formed in his head; it was honest, it was simple, and it was for Harry.

 

He quickly wrote down what he thought, then interrupted Liam and John’s chattering to read it for them. They absolutely loved it, and that small line fuelled Liam.

 

In less than an hour, they already had the first verse and a complete chorus. Louis was reluctant to be so coarse and say “you say you’re a good girl”. He couldn’t relate to it, but it made Liam at least a tiny bit happy so he let it go.

By 3 o’ clock they had a whole song, but decided that it would be best to put it on hold for a couple of days and see if it was still as good as it felt in that moment.

 

For the first time since that morning, Louis realized he had to see Harry again shortly. Emptiness filled his stomach and he felt his smile turn into an almost terrified grimace. Liam saw this while they were getting out of the room and just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

 

“Hey, Louis, are you gonna tell me what happened last night with Harry or will you just keep  ignoring the subject?”

 

Louis considered both options (he did saw it coming, though not so much like a cannon ball. Maybe more like a caress. But that didn’t happen) and chose the second one.

 

“Look, I really don’t want to talk about it, not tryna be rude or anything, it’s just… –“ it’s just that, what? “– I already don’t want to talk to Harry about it –“ score “– and it’s getting kind of overwhelming. “

 

Louis started messing about in his bag, acting as if he was looking for something not to having to look into Liam’s eyes after that rejection to his help.

“You are not breaking up though, are you?” Liam said, tentatively.

Louis shoot his head up and saw the discomfort in that little puppy.

He got an arm around him, and while stroking his thumb into his shirt, he said that no, of course they weren’t breaking up, they were meant to be, yeah?

Liam relaxed into his embrace and let the whole deal go, at least for the moment. Louis knew he wasn’t going to get away with it, but for the time being it was comforting to know that one of his bandmates was not going to ask him about the Harry subject.

 

They both got into the van as soon as it parked outside of the small studio and got on the road towards the stadium. Louis was so caught up in so many things he wasn’t absolutely aware of which state or city or country or fucking planet they were in, but he would have time to solve that. Later. Much, much later.

When they got there, Harry was hanging about in the dressing room, clinging to his phone for dear life. Zayn and Niall were nowhere to be seen, though probably outside, the first having a quick smoke before rehearsals began and the other messing around with a football.

 

Louis, as always, was drawn inmediatly to his boyfriend as soon as he laid eyes on him, though a bit more cautious than most of the times. He sat next to him and Harry clearly got a bit rigid, but dropped the phone onto his lap.

 

They were both staring at his hands or shoes or whatever was in inmediate sight, but they knew what the other was thinking about. They always did.

Harry was the first to speak up. “Lou, listen. Don’t interrupt me and don’t try to fight me on this. The truth is that, whether you have to be seen in public with Eleanor – and it kills me, I admit it, because it should be us – or we can’t be seen standing close to each or whatever, I still get to fall asleep every night next to you. I get to kiss you, and hold you, and stroke your hair and those things we both mean, things that are not a set up. So, if I have to go through a little bit of pain to have you, all of you at night, I would take a fucking lion’s bite to get at least five minutes of you. I... –“ he choked up a bit, and realised that Louis had his palm on his knee and the brightest smile on his face.

“Harry, I know. I know, and it sucks that it can’t be us, but we won’t stop fighting, will we? Darling, you make me the happiest man alive and I’m not planning on giving up on this.”

The younger boy looked down again, smiling an got a grip of the older man’s hand. Looking up then, into the sea of Louis’ eyes he let out a sighting murmur; four little words. Four words of hope.

“You make me strong.”  



End file.
